50 Shinobi – Prompt 45 (Ribbon)

It was a well known fact that shinobi were often times required to do things of the unsavory nature. Things that left the shinobi reeling with guilt or disgust at some times. She thought the ones that had worst were those who’s justus were specifically designed to kill in stealth; like Shikamaru or even Neji. They could kill someone before the person even realized what was occurring. Tenten wasn’t a stranger to these acts. She’d seen more than her fair share of blood and heard enough screams to last her a lifetime.

Every time she came back from one of those missions, she would despair. She would sit and wallow and cry to her heart’s content. Shinobi aren’t supposed to show their emotions, but when the mission was over, she had to let it out, or else she could never go back. It was all for the best, she knew, but that didn’t make it any easier.

That night, Tenten crouches underneath a large oak tree trying to will away the memory of the day’s actions. She can still hear her scream and see the crimson blood stain the landscape. After the deed, Tenten had wiped and washed and polished the murder weapon forty-seven times. It was the cleanest she’d ever seen it, but everytime she really looked at it, the image of blood dripping around it would not disappear. Killing was one thing, not something appealing, but easy enough to do. Killing your best friend was entirely another.

Tenten had had to kill the only friend she’d had when she was a young girl. She had been kind and affirmative — not the type you’d expect to be the heir to a crime stream. It hurt. It was all for the good, but it still fucking hurt.

There’s a rustle in the leaves and suddenly Neji and Lee are in front of her. Lee frowns in concern. “Tenten?”

She turns just the slightest bit, not even caring that they can see the tears pooling down her face. “Yeah, Lee?” She never liked for others to see her cry, but she was in no mood to pretend it didn’t hurt when it was tearing her apart inside.

Lee opens his mouth to talk, but Neji silences him with a hand on the green-clad boy’s shoulder. Silently almost unbidden the boys sit next to her, one on either side. Lee holds her hand gingerly and squeezes it in comfort. “I’m sorry, Tenten.” His voice holds none of his usual perkiness and overbearing resilient tone, instead he’s comforting and empathetic. She thinks he really means it when he says he’s sorry.

Neji brushes the damp stringy brunette strands out of her face, and braids them gingerly. Neji’s never really done anything like that before and Tenten finds herself more than just a little shocked. “It won’t feel so bad tomorrow.” He says quietly. “We’re here for you.”

It’s then she lets herself break down completely. Neji and Lee sit there beside her. Not condescending, not pushy, not anything. They’re just there for her, and she’s never felt better.

She wakes up at some point her head against Lee’s shoulder and Neji’s head on hers. She stirs, trying hard not to disturb either of her two friends. The sun is rising over the horizon tinting the sky an array of pink and red. There’s still a gaping hole in her chest, but she feels a lot better.

White ribbon dangles in her hair from the braids Neji had done in her hair. Tenten fingers the ribbon carefully and settles back into her previous position. Yeah, shinobi often times have to do things, they would really rather not do. Shinobi often left their completed missions feeling with guilt and shame; but in retrospect, it was really alright. Someone had to do the horrid deed, and someone was always there to help them through the misery.

Since that day, Tenten always tied up her hair into her customary buns with the white silk ribbon Neji had tied her braids with. Through every deed she’d ever done, the weight of the white ribbon reminded her, that her friends would always be there for her. That she was not alone, even when it felt like it.