You are currently browsing the category archive for the 'Angst' category.
Respect
“Hey, crybaby,” Temari calls to him as she leans by the doorway, “how’re you feeling?”
“Like crap.” He answers honestly as he sits up from her bed.
“No need to get up.”
“The last time I talked to you when I was laying down you beat me up.”
“The last time you did that you weren’t already beat up.”
“I am not beat up.”
She rolls her eyes and walks over to the bed. “Quit being such a man.” She scolds taking a seat beside him. “You know, I expect the kind of stunt you pulled from Kankurou, but I never thought you would do it.”
The male shinobi had been sitting at the bar laughing uproariously at each other’s lewd jokes and stories. The bar in itself wasn’t a bad place; it was just those shinobi that were annoying Shikamaru. All their stores were quite demeaning to women and derogatory. It was disgusting. Kankurou just rolled his eyes; the others in their company told him to ignore them. Shikamaru tried his best, but they crossed the line.
“Hey! Hey!” They’d called out to Kankurou, “You’re that hot blonde’s brother right?”
Kankurou pointedly ignored them.
One of them walked over, “The one with all the nice curves.”
“I’d shut up about her before he decides to kick your ass.” Shikamaru muttered to them.
“Ne, ne,” the one by the table sniggered, “but she’s such a hot bitch.”
Shikamaru tensed, he noticed absently that Kankurou did as well.
“Of course, with that temper of hers who’d stick around her long enough to bang her, ey?”
Kankurou’s friend who’d told him to originally ignore them gave Kankurou a pointed glare – a warning not to lose his temper it seemed. “I won’t, okay?” Kankurou grumbled.
“Of course she’s more the girl you shove up against a wall and have your way with.” He laughed and his companions laughed along with him.
Shikamaru’s fingers curled around the bottle.
“Little slut will probably be on her knees begging for more.”
Shikamaru remembered getting up calmly and telling that asshole that he should take it back. He also remembered that instead he made some other disgusting comments. Then he recalled punching him. Over, and over, and over. He also remembered he got his quite a lot, the man’s buddies joining in to attempt to kick his ass, which unfortunately dragged Kankurou and his friends in the fight as well.
“Was I just supposed to let them talk about you that way?”
He didn’t remember how it ended seeing as how he was knocked out by a jackass who hit him over the head with a chair while he was busy with two of the other idiots.
“Yes.”
“Yes?” He asked in astonished disbelief.
“Yes.” She smiled, “As much as I love that you’re quite a decent man, many men are idiots. You just gotta learn to suck up their insults and let it go. Of course, if they try something then you kick their ass so they won’t be able to walk for five months.” She tucked her knees under herself. “Speaking of which, I hear he’s so badly fucked that he won’t be able to walk for seven months.”
“Good.”
“I never pegged you for the violent type, Shikamaru.”
“I never pegged you for the passive type, Temari.”
She shrugged. “You learn to deal with it as time goes by.”
“You shouldn’t have to.”
“The world sucks. There are lots of things that shouldn’t happen.”
She leant into him and he wrapped his arms around her. “They should’ve known better than to badmouth you in front of your fiancé.”
“What can I say? Men in Suna are pretty dim. That’s why I had to get myself one in Konoha.”
He smiled.
“You know, on the upside, you’re injuries weren’t for nothing. Kankurou has now decided that he approves of our union. Apparently beating up a jerk is enough for him to respect you.”
“Stein…” She cooed, the words rolling off of the tip of her tongue like silk. “Stein…”
He gripped his head between a tossup of confusion, annoyance, maybe even delight.
“Stein…” She chuckled mercilessly, delighting in the spasms of his heart, in the confusion of his current state.
“Go away!”
She drew her fingers across his chin, “You don’t want me to…” She snickered. “You want to know. You want to know.” His body shuddered – with anticipation or fear she couldn’t be sure. “Give in, Stein. It’s so much fun if you do…”
“I won’t…I won’t…”
“It’s not so bad…Rather fun if you really think about it.” She pressed more firmly into him. “I love you.” She sang.
Then quickly, snap, shudder, snarl. She’s gone. Medusa is back inside the darkened room surrounded by her candles, her books, and her plans. She fingers the hair of the child she’s inhabiting and giggles lightly. “I’m waiting, Stein.” He fights the insanity rather well, but he can’t hold on to his sanity for too long.
Soon he’ll give in.
Soon.
She can wait.
She might not know how to love, but she certainly knows what she wants when she sees it. This is as close enough to love as she or Stein will ever let themselves feel.
Medusa looks calmly to the stars. He gets weaker every day, every day she can worm her way into his illusions, into his insanity. She wants him to be hers, and no matter how hard he fights it, it’s obvious – he wants to have her.
Murder is the most flattering form of flirtation – a dance of life, blood, and desire.
“Stein…” She cooed to the stars. “I’m waiting.” She smiles. “I’m waiting.”
Since the dawn of time, or at least, as far back as anyone on earth could really recall, the world had been set down with specific rules and statues. Some things were bad, and some things were good. You couldn’t do one thing, but you could do this other thing. There were rules, there were morals, and then there were the never stopping barrage of ethics.
Continuing from that, the shinigami had always watched over earth, had always thwarted those who threatened to disturb the peace. Destroying those in danger from becoming Kishin. There was always evil, and there was always good. Even when the deity’s in charge of being good were the evil ones.
The story of the witch is a simple one. It’s not pleasant and it’s certainly not fair, but it’s as easy as it goes. The first thing about witches, is that they’re all deviously close to the precipice of insanity. Unlike normal humans, they were born with an extra bout of supernatural ability. Unlike weapons, they were born with too much control over their ability. Unlike meisters, they were born with no need to rely on anyone else. Witches, have too much power for their own good, and are more easily prone to get lost in the sinfully delicious maze of exerting the most out of that power. But that is not were their tale begins, but it is where their faults lie. Every fool could tell you that one chooses their own path. The same goes for witches; despite flirting the line between sanity and insanity, despite pushing the limits between right and wrong, witches have always had a choice.
It is the faults of the shinigami that have made most witches choose the same derelict path for years.
In the past, the dark and indeterminable past that no one really enjoys to speak of, Shinigami-sama was not the god he is today. He was a twisted and confused soul, strongly allied with Eibon. In fact, it’s rumored that his pursuits with Eibon are largely responsible for his lack of soul. Not that anyone has ever been able to prove it. Regardless, in the past, darkness and chaos ruled the world. Demon tools made back and forth, despair, anguish, indescribable horror.
Back in those times, witches freely chose the side of light as often as they chose the side of dark. Back in those times, witches were not responsible for the cruelty in the world – at least, not most of it anyway. Eibon and Shinigami were. In those days, magic was respected and beseeched for help. In those days witches were an idol, a dream, a hope.
Then everything changed.
Some would say for the better.
Witches will forever say it was for the bad. The Shinigami realized his err and did all he could to relieve the world from the chaos he had helped create. No one is quite certain of what it was that changed his mind, but everyone knows what came from it. Eibon was destroyed. Most of the evil put down and new reign of righteousness swept the land. The first great fight came with horrible repercussions.
The witches fought the repercussions most strongly, their magic was at stake – their very life was at stake. What was demanded of them would require giving up the magic they prided themselves on. They were born on the precipice of insanity, once you see both worlds; it’s not something you’re likely to give up. It made sense in a way, to take the magic – they were the ones in most danger of harming the world. But it was still a cross of rights. It was still their life and not something they would easily give up.
Between being in accordance to the current rules and keeping what was theirs, most witches chose the obvious. They kept their magic and went into hiding. From that hiding festered bitterness and resentment. From having to conceal their true souls and personality dug them deeper to insanity. Pressed them farther away from right and closer to wrong. When the world hates you, you only learn to hate the world. As time wore on, choosing a path of righteousness for witches was all but obliterated. Being a witch simply came to mean having fun, wreaking havoc, doing whatever one felt like, and avoiding being killed.
Many witches focused on demon gods, ruling the world, and kishin. Many other witches simply focused on little pleasures, no goal but only their own delights. It wasn’t that they lacked empathy to other people, it was that they had lived in such a situation, that they felt it was their right. They couldn’t fit in to the world, so they took the world instead.
The ones who took it the hardest were those with the most power.
Medusa and Archane were the most powerful witches to grace the earth in the longest time. Both intelligent, both strong, both needing something more than trivial games and silly pranks. Both Medusa and Archane lived under the oppression that witches faced, both women had to struggle with becoming faded imprints on the world, not being able to fully step for fear of being caught. And both women could do no such thing.
They could not hide.
They could not fade.
They could not be ashamed.
And because of the inner turmoil, because of the pain, they did the only sane thing a witch could do – they destroyed their heart. They destroyed their feelings, their guilt, their inner child – they destroyed everything that kept them stuck in fear. They gave in to the wrong path, they touched insanity, and felt pleasure in doing so. Once they forgot about fading, and cared not about hiding, they could do so much more things. They could become the women they were supposed to be.
A witch did not have an easy life. A witch had to be certain things, and when she wasn’t she had to be smart enough to work around it. A witch was plagued to disappear and leave no imprint, except when she crossed the line and tried to tip the world back into the darkness that first cursed them into oblivion.
Any sane witch will chose to give into insanity, because fading away is too hard to do.
50 Shinobi – Prompt 45 (Ribbon)
It was a well known fact that shinobi were often times required to do things of the unsavory nature. Things that left the shinobi reeling with guilt or disgust at some times. She thought the ones that had worst were those who’s justus were specifically designed to kill in stealth; like Shikamaru or even Neji. They could kill someone before the person even realized what was occurring. Tenten wasn’t a stranger to these acts. She’d seen more than her fair share of blood and heard enough screams to last her a lifetime.
Every time she came back from one of those missions, she would despair. She would sit and wallow and cry to her heart’s content. Shinobi aren’t supposed to show their emotions, but when the mission was over, she had to let it out, or else she could never go back. It was all for the best, she knew, but that didn’t make it any easier.
That night, Tenten crouches underneath a large oak tree trying to will away the memory of the day’s actions. She can still hear her scream and see the crimson blood stain the landscape. After the deed, Tenten had wiped and washed and polished the murder weapon forty-seven times. It was the cleanest she’d ever seen it, but everytime she really looked at it, the image of blood dripping around it would not disappear. Killing was one thing, not something appealing, but easy enough to do. Killing your best friend was entirely another.
Tenten had had to kill the only friend she’d had when she was a young girl. She had been kind and affirmative — not the type you’d expect to be the heir to a crime stream. It hurt. It was all for the good, but it still fucking hurt.
There’s a rustle in the leaves and suddenly Neji and Lee are in front of her. Lee frowns in concern. “Tenten?”
She turns just the slightest bit, not even caring that they can see the tears pooling down her face. “Yeah, Lee?” She never liked for others to see her cry, but she was in no mood to pretend it didn’t hurt when it was tearing her apart inside.
Lee opens his mouth to talk, but Neji silences him with a hand on the green-clad boy’s shoulder. Silently almost unbidden the boys sit next to her, one on either side. Lee holds her hand gingerly and squeezes it in comfort. “I’m sorry, Tenten.” His voice holds none of his usual perkiness and overbearing resilient tone, instead he’s comforting and empathetic. She thinks he really means it when he says he’s sorry.
Neji brushes the damp stringy brunette strands out of her face, and braids them gingerly. Neji’s never really done anything like that before and Tenten finds herself more than just a little shocked. “It won’t feel so bad tomorrow.” He says quietly. “We’re here for you.”
It’s then she lets herself break down completely. Neji and Lee sit there beside her. Not condescending, not pushy, not anything. They’re just there for her, and she’s never felt better.
She wakes up at some point her head against Lee’s shoulder and Neji’s head on hers. She stirs, trying hard not to disturb either of her two friends. The sun is rising over the horizon tinting the sky an array of pink and red. There’s still a gaping hole in her chest, but she feels a lot better.
White ribbon dangles in her hair from the braids Neji had done in her hair. Tenten fingers the ribbon carefully and settles back into her previous position. Yeah, shinobi often times have to do things, they would really rather not do. Shinobi often left their completed missions feeling with guilt and shame; but in retrospect, it was really alright. Someone had to do the horrid deed, and someone was always there to help them through the misery.
Since that day, Tenten always tied up her hair into her customary buns with the white silk ribbon Neji had tied her braids with. Through every deed she’d ever done, the weight of the white ribbon reminded her, that her friends would always be there for her. That she was not alone, even when it felt like it.
50 Shinobi Prompt 35 — Shinobi
Summary: She was not a kunoichi, dammit! She was a shinobi
“A kunoichi?” He laughed at her, smirk pronounced. “They sent a kunoichi to get me?”
Tenten stood above him breathing heavy, hands clenched tightly around a bloody kunai. He scrambled away from her on his hands and knees, eyes wide with fear. “Leave me alone!” He screamed, “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”
Tenten kicked him roughly in the ribs, turning him around so he was looking up. “You’re sorry?” She hissed, anger lacing every syllable.
His grey eyes danced with mirth, a large smirk pulled across his wide lips. “Well, aren’t you pretty? A little whore like you shouldn’t be wearing such cumbersome clothes. It hides your lovely figure.”
“Quit talking before you piss me off.”
Blood rolled down her knuckles from the heavy grip she held on the kunai. The metal sliced into her skin, digging in deeply. “I told you to shut up, didn’t I?”
He swallowed, face perspiring, nose running, eyes pleading. “Forgive me. Be merciful.”
“Your lucky day.” He rolled his blade about in his heads. “I rather like you.”
“Are you going to make this easy for me? Or are we going to have to fight?”
He smirked. “Let’s do this instead.” He leaned forward. “How about you bend over for papa, and I’ll let you get away with your life?”
Tenten inhaled sharply. “You did not just say that.”
She dug her foot into his neck. “I was only supposed to bring you back to Konoha.” She spat and dug her foot in further. “But I think I’ve changed my mind.”
His eyes widened even more. “P-Please…d-don’t…”
“It’s just you and me, nobody else.” She murmured. “I can write it off as a necessary murder. Your life or mine. No one will ever know.”
“I-I’ll know.” He wheezed.
“There’s nobody around. Nobody to hear you scream.”
Her nerves snapped as the old bugger somehow manged to get around her. He pushed her up against a tree and ran his hand across her chest. Tenten shoved him back furiously, the old man slamming into the tree trunk.
“So you like it rough don’t you, bitch?”
She summoned out a long sharp blade. “I think I’m going to enjoy killing you.”
“I’m sorry!”
“Too little, too late.”
She wiped blood off her lips. Despite everything, he was a hard guy to take down. He had an incredible amount of stamina and was actually very strong.
“Getting tired?” He grinned lecherously. “Gonna take me up on my offer, kunoichi?”
“I really, really hate sexist pigs.” She spat right before driving the blade straight into his heart. “Go to hell.”
His grey glassy eyes stared up at her, frozen into a fixed expression of fear. His lips twitched and his fingers stopped moving.
She pulled out the blade from the man’s lifeless body and Tenten breathed out a sigh. “A necessary take down. Needed to use excessive force.” She mumbled absently. “Mission failed.” Tenten pulled out a washcloth from her pocket and wiped the blade clean. Never had she failed a mission and felt so completed.
Tenten dug a kunai straight into his gut, immobilizing him. The man sunk to the ground in agonizing pain. “Wh-What…?”
She bent over and breathed heavily. “Fuck you.” She stared at him, intent on murdering him, intent on removing his pitiful life from the face of the earth. “I’m not a kunoichi, dammit.” She growled. “I’m a shinobi.” She dug another kunai straight into his thigh. “And the last person, you’ll ever see on the face of the earth once I’m done with you.”
When I was a little girl, momma said never to marry. When I was a little girl, I said ‘Momma, you don’t have to worry. There’s no way I’m ever gonna marry.’
But now its years down the line, momma aint here anymore, and the sunshine aint kind.
Toying with a idea, toying with a dream, as the sand scrapes the outside of the building. Some days she just wants to scream.
When I was a little girl, I’d hear my momma cry. When I was a little girl, I saw tears run down her eyes, and heard her whisper every night ‘God, I wish I could die’
Papa never was kind. Papa never tired. All she ever got from him was scars and endless whys.
Now its years down the line, and taking a chance still doesn’t seem wise.
She thinks it’s just a silly dream, there’s nothing happy to be achieved. She thinks it’s just a silly dream. But that’s just so she doesn’t have to feel her heart ripped apart clean.
When I was a little girl, I thought my momma loved my papa’s eyes. I thought my papa loved my mama’s smile. When I was a little girl, love seemed worth the while. Until I saw the fake smiles.
Now its years down the line, and truth still seems like a fairy tale in her eyes.
She’s a woman now, with decisions to be made. Momma is dead. Papa is dead. Her brothers’ aren’t wonders but they need her around. She doesn’t want them to think her love for them fades.
When I was a little girl, I saw my momma die. I saw her lie on the hospital bed and reach her time. When I was a little girl, I held my youngest brother in my arms before anyone else. It was enough to make me cry.
Things didn’t turn out well. For him. For her. For anyone. For them, things never turned out well. All they ever got, was pure hell.
Now its years down the line, and things have changed, but the responsibility still remains.
She’s got things to do. Priorities, people, and shoes to fill. It weighs on her soul and breaks her in two. Some days herself is the one she’s gotta kill. She’s gotta be strong, and she can’t ever be wrong. She’s got things to do. Too bad she has desires too.
When I was a little girl, momma made me swear to protect my family. When I was a little girl, I swore I would. Eternally.
Papa always swore and papa always schemed; papa drove a wedge between her by keeping things unseen. Eternally faded and all that was left was yet another dream.
She clenches her fists, because she won’t do that again. She won’t forget them – never again. There’s time to make things right, even if her life is lost in the mists.
When I was a little girl, I had lots of dreams. Mostly princes and horses, and castles colored cream. When I was a little girl, I learned dreams are never true. I learned to be scared of men too.
Now it’s years down the line, and things haven’t changed.
She crushes her hopes once again in her heart, its about time she stopped lending it out. It only ever got broken apart.
When I was a little girl, I trusted too much. When I was a little girl I gave everything my own personal touch.
Now it’s years down the line, and only one thing remains true.
Time only shatters you.
xXxXx
“Breathe.” Shikamaru whispered into her ear as he held her tighter. Her body shook in his arms. Never before had he thought of her as fragile until now.
Swallowing breaths and shaking fingers. Temari clutched at his clothing her fingers digging into the
cloth. With her eyes squeezed shut and heart in her throat she couldn’t think. All she knew was that she was tired.
She was dead tired.
“Breathe.” He repeated again. “Just breathe.”
Temari fingers clutched him tighter. She wasn’t even sure if she remembered how to breathe.
xXxXx
It was all blood.
Blood stained her hands.
Blood stained her soul.
What was she supposed to do with all the blood?
Without a word, Lee took her hands in his and looked her in the eyes. “Tenten, it will be fine.”
Fine.
Fine.
How can…How can anything be fine?
“Tenten.” Lee’s eyes search her. “Say something.”
Behind him Neji watches her in apprehension too. He’s worried. Tenten looks at her hands. Is she in such a state that even Neji can look worried? Is she so…
What’s with all the blood?!
Arms wrap around her.
Words are murmured to her.
Someone squeezes her hand.
It will be fine.
Can it? Can it be fine?
xXxXx
Kankurou stares at her.
How could she understand? How could a stupid girl like her ever understand? “Go away.” He tells her. Like he’s told her countless times before.
This time, instead of heading his command she kneels before him. Her pale fingers wrap around his hands, her head bowed, dark brown bangs covering her brown eyes. “I’m here. You matter. I’m here.”
“You don’t know anything.”
She squeezes his hands. “Then tell me.”
Her eyes connect with his.
Tell me.
Blood and sacrifice is matted around his heart. Around his soul. He doesn’t know what’s right anymore. He doesn’t know…He doesn’t know anything but duty anymore.
“Tell me.” She whispers. “Help me understand.”
He knows she isn’t a saint. But he doesn’t want her to carry his troubles on top of her own. “Go away.” He whispers again.
Shinobi are such fragile things. They break so easily.
She nods. “But you know, regardless of how many times you tell me to go away,” She smiles lightly, “I’ll always be here.”
xXxXx
She cranes her head at him. “I think, it’s not so bad.”
He’s aware that he’s shaking. “You think.”
“I think.” She confirms.
The world turns on it’s axis and runs and walks and talks as if he is of no consequence. As if…What does it all matter?
“Gaara, I want to—” She stopped abruptly as she witnessed her younger brother sitting before his desk a kunai sliding across his skin. She felt as if her heart had literally stopped. “What are you doing, you idiot!?” She screamed furiously. She pulled the blade from his hands throwing it behind her straight into the wall.
A dark line ran across his wrist, red blood pouring from the cut.
He was bleeding.
Gaara looked up at Temari hoping she would have an answer for him.
Her lip was trembling and her eyes were filled with a livid fire. “Answer me!”
“I…I don’t know.”
His sister sunk to the floor. “How can you not know!?” She swore. “You don’t just take a kunai to your wrist without knowing what the purpose is. Do you want to kill yourself? Do you?!”
“Maybe.” He answered honestly.“Don’t you care about us?!”
He frowned. “Temari, I don’t—”
“Do you really think that killing yourself won’t hurt anybody?” Her voice lowered to a normal volume, but it was sharper, firmer, colder.
“I…” He watched his sister. “You would care?”
“Of course I’d care, you idiot! Do you think that – that just because we have an argument that I don’t give a damn?! Hell, Gaara! I’m a temperamental bitch! Ask Kankurou; I say things I don’t mean!!” She growled. “Just when I learn to accept you as a brother, you want to end it? Well, newsflash, I’m not letting you do that.”
“I’m different.” He muttered.
“I know.” She growled. “And I’m sorry I said that you were useless without the Shukaku. I was having a bad day okay? I love you because you’re my brother, not because of your power.”
50 Shinobi Prompt 04 — Inner Demons
Sometimes she’s afraid she’s just a big scaredy-cat.
When she’s actually doing her thing, in the midst of a heavy battle, the thought doesn’t even occur to her. It never crosses her mind to runaway or even to scream. That is only due to the fact that her limbs and twirling, her body twisting, chest heaving, and eyes soaking up every detail that she can’t spare running a second thought. Sometimes she’s glad she’s never been a good multi-tasker.
But when she fails, when her body is overcome with such terrible weakness and frailty that she can’t fight back she she feels the fear overwhelm her. There is no physical reaction that can be seen, but the fear is drowning her and if she could run, she would.
She’s a fearful creature by nature.
Most people think she’s brave. They see her push and shove and fight until there’s no breath in her. Neji and Lee have seen her at such weakness that she can’t move. They think she’s stupid and incredibly brave for fighthing so long and so hard.
What they don’t realize – what the world can’t quite see – is that she’s just too scared to run away.
I have lots of different alternatives to this one story. Two of which are poems and two are short oneshots. I suppose that what I get for listening to La Oreja de Van Gogh. Very nice band-people. Darn Mely for influencing me, now I really like those people. Ah well.
Summary: Because Temari is more than just Nara Shikamaru’s girlfriend.
Side note: I HATE shika-ino pairing, it just worked for this story-thing
Genre: romance, angst,
People: Temari, Shikamaru, Ino
Summary: Because Temari is more than just Nara Shikamaru’s girlfriend.
Side note: I HATE shika-ino pairing, it just worked for this story-thing
Genre: romance, angst,
People: Temari, Shikamaru, Ino
-
Cared to See (Story Vers.1)
Temari’s hands brushed against the solitary photograph she placed on top of a small book on her desk.
It was her and Shikamaru.Probably the only picture she had of him. They were lying on the grass, Temari’s head on his chest. They were smiling.
Without a second thought she ripped the picture down the middle and dropped it in the trash.
They were.
She hated him for a long time when they broke up.
HATED him.
He dumped her for that blonde, Yamanaka.
Because he said, “I love her.”
Her.
Of course, it couldn’t be Temari right?
She hated him for that. What did Yamanaka have that she didn’t? Temari was better than that girl in EVERY way…except, well Yamanaka’s hair was much softer and nicer looking.
Temari held no bitter feelings toward Yamanaka.
Not then and not now, just…bewilderment as to why Shikmaru chose her.All the shinobi in Konoha stared at her oddly after that.
Why?
They didn’t know who she was.
She had always just been Shikamaru’s girl to them.
And who was she now?
Everything they didn’t see.
Everything only her brothers saw.
Everything she had hoped Shikamaru had seen.
He hadn’t.
She was more than just someone’s silly female ornament.
She was her own person.
She never shed one tear over Shikamaru.
Plenty of shout and screams and raw fury, but not one tear.
Cry?
Cry?
Over a boy who never saw who she really was?
Over a boy who held gold in his hands and traded it in for copper?
Why bother?
She would admit one thing: she believed he was gold too.
He just couldn’t see that. In himself or in her.
Temari slipped through the house down to the kitchen. Serving a quick breakfast to her brothers, not forgetting to slide in a small insult, she slipped out the door.
She wasn’t perfect by any means.
She was too angry.
Too proud.
Too rough.
Too blunt.
“Who am I, Shikamaru?” She had asked him awhile after the whole tirade.
“You’re…Temari.”
“But who am I?”
“You’re you.”
He had never really known who she was.
He’d never really bothered to realize she was someone.
She was much more than his girlfriend.
Temari had loved him.
She probably still loved him.
But what did that matter?
She had a life to live and he didn’t want to be in it. Sure, it hurt, but that didn’t put her life on hold. There was more to her than any romantic affiliation.
Too bad he never cared to see.
—————————————————————————-
Life to Live (Story Vers.2)
“I…” he fidgeted “I…”?
Temari sighed and rolled her eyes. The blonde kunoichi was leaning comfortably against a random shop waiting for him to voice his decision, which by his reaction wasn’t very hard to guess.
Me or Ino. She had said to him. Me or Ino, I don’t play paltry games. Do you love me, or do you love her? Decide. “You pick Ino.” She answered for him, deciding to save him the grief.
“…Yeah.”
Figures.
He seemed to be waiting for something.
“What?” she quirked up an eyebrow. “Disappointing reaction for you? Want me to cry, attack you with my fan, show fury?”
Shikamaru glanced at the floor and muttered unintelligibly.
“I love you, Shikamaru, that’s a given, but I’m not going to cry or have a fit because you love Ino and not me.” She would miss his kisses. She would miss the smell of his skin on hers. She would miss the feel of his hand touching hers. “You made your choice. I’m not going to pout because it wasn’t me. It hurts like hell, but you aren’t my life. There’s more to me than you.” She smirked at him. “Love is nice, but a broken heart won’t bring my life to halt.” She had prepared herself for this possibility. In fact in her mind it was the most probable result. Apparently she’d been right. She pushed herself off the wall. She needed to get back to Suna. “Say hello to Ino for me.”
Shikamaru stared blankly after her.
“Oh and for the record,” she said looking back, “only fools give up gold for copper. And I don’t care for fools.”
She loved him.And his decision hurt her terribly.
But if he was stupid enough to pick Ino over her, it was a good thing it was over.
He was a fool.
Temari, she – she was special.
Incredibly so.
She had a life to live and it was going to be spent crying over him.
—————————————————————–
Love Me (Poem #1)
Love me.
A silent plea.
He doesn’t
Love me
He loves her.
Love me
How can she be better?
Love me
Who?
I ask, turning in my bed at night.
Who am I?
Who am I to you?
Love me
Without you
what can I be?
They all know me
hanging by your side.
They all think
that’s all there is to me
Love me
I’m the girl who would push you forward
Who am I now?
You’ve forsaken me for her
Ino
So pretty
So thin
So unlike me
Love me
Is she better?
Does she hug you like I would?
Do you murmur her name in your sleep?
Do you think of her
all the time?
Love me
Why not me?
I am better
I am MORE
I am everything you should hope to have
You would be lucky
Love me
To have me
Who am I?
Not yours
Definitely not yours
Why would I be anyway?
I am special
It’s too late
Love me
You could’ve had me
You could’ve had the best
You could’ve laid to restin my arms
Love me
I am everything
You will never have
And will always crave
I don’t need you to love me
You can’t see
How you traded
gold for copper
I don’t need you to love me
Waste your time,
not that it’s worth much,
on that girl.
I love me.
——————————————————————
Had (Poem #2)
He had her
She would’ve given him everything
Would’ve loved him with all her heart
But he turned upon her love
And drank from another
Crying and yelling and screaming at the sky
No
He had her
He chose another
Let him
Let him lose the greatest thing
He could ever have
She was better than he was
If he could see that
He would know
Just what he was pushing aside
But all he sees is a given
He doesn’t see her
His err
She was everything
Let him choose what he would
She had life
She wasn’t gonna wait
For him to realize
She was everything
He’d always wished he had.
He had her.
And now, he’d lost her.
She wasn’t gonna waste her time.
