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He slips his hand in hers and he smiles happily at her. He’s happy and she’s happy, but I want nothing more than to melt into the floor and burn the very image from my mind.
I love the way he makes me laugh.
I love the way he slips in those little white lies because he’d rather not hurt my feelings.
I love the way he never forgets my birthday or any of the other holidays – including the one’s I’ve made up just so I can throw a party or get gifts.
I love the way he can reassure me even when I feel like the world is crashing around me.
I love his annoyingly messy hair, his squishy round body, and his ever caring warm smile.
I love him.
.
But he doesn’t love me.
Sometimes I want to hate him because of that.
.
I’m beautiful dammit!
.
Girls kill to look like me, from my flat smooth waist to my long lustrous blonde hair. Guys are supposed to be crawling over to fawn over me. I’m supposed to be the one who’s breaking hearts.
Not the one whose heart is breaking.
50 Shinobi Prompt 30 — Flirt
Tenten had always known she was a few screws short when it came to understanding the opposite sex. She just didn’t realize she was the only female among the group she regularly talked to, that was absolutely clueless.
“Have you two gone on a date yet?” Sakura had teased warmly.
“Tell me everything!” Ino had demanded. “Is he a good kisser?”
“Do you like him too?” Hinata had asked shyly.
“They tell me you have a boy gunning for you heart now.” Temari had said abruptly upon arriving in Konoha.
Even the elder kunoichi said the same. “You can do better.” Anko had muttered absently. “I mean, hell, he isn’t that good looking no matter what others say.”
“Does he make you happy?” Kurenai had asked in concerned. “Because that’s really the most important thing.”
“He’s a bit of an odd choice wouldn’t you think so?” Shizune had mentioned offhand.
“Are you two dating?” Tsunade has asked an eyebrow raised.
Tenten had answered all of them the same way. “What are you talking about?”
“You two flirting.” was the unanimous response.
Tenten had stared blankly ahead, utterly confused. “I was flirting? When? Wait, he was flirting with me?”
Needless to say, by the end of the day, Tenten felt very confused. What was the whole deal with flirting? How did one even know when they were flirting? She got different answers from everyone and only ended the day feeling annoyed and bothered.
He wasn’t flirting with her right?
Maybe it’s not that she was missing a few screws when it came to the opposite sex that made her miss the ‘flirting’. Maybe it was that all the other girls she knew had a few too many screws and imagined things that weren’t there.
After all, he couldn’t really have been flirting with her.
A/N: I leave it up to you guys to imagine who it was that was flirting with Tenten. ^_^Respect
“Hey, crybaby,” Temari calls to him as she leans by the doorway, “how’re you feeling?”
“Like crap.” He answers honestly as he sits up from her bed.
“No need to get up.”
“The last time I talked to you when I was laying down you beat me up.”
“The last time you did that you weren’t already beat up.”
“I am not beat up.”
She rolls her eyes and walks over to the bed. “Quit being such a man.” She scolds taking a seat beside him. “You know, I expect the kind of stunt you pulled from Kankurou, but I never thought you would do it.”
The male shinobi had been sitting at the bar laughing uproariously at each other’s lewd jokes and stories. The bar in itself wasn’t a bad place; it was just those shinobi that were annoying Shikamaru. All their stores were quite demeaning to women and derogatory. It was disgusting. Kankurou just rolled his eyes; the others in their company told him to ignore them. Shikamaru tried his best, but they crossed the line.
“Hey! Hey!” They’d called out to Kankurou, “You’re that hot blonde’s brother right?”
Kankurou pointedly ignored them.
One of them walked over, “The one with all the nice curves.”
“I’d shut up about her before he decides to kick your ass.” Shikamaru muttered to them.
“Ne, ne,” the one by the table sniggered, “but she’s such a hot bitch.”
Shikamaru tensed, he noticed absently that Kankurou did as well.
“Of course, with that temper of hers who’d stick around her long enough to bang her, ey?”
Kankurou’s friend who’d told him to originally ignore them gave Kankurou a pointed glare – a warning not to lose his temper it seemed. “I won’t, okay?” Kankurou grumbled.
“Of course she’s more the girl you shove up against a wall and have your way with.” He laughed and his companions laughed along with him.
Shikamaru’s fingers curled around the bottle.
“Little slut will probably be on her knees begging for more.”
Shikamaru remembered getting up calmly and telling that asshole that he should take it back. He also remembered that instead he made some other disgusting comments. Then he recalled punching him. Over, and over, and over. He also remembered he got his quite a lot, the man’s buddies joining in to attempt to kick his ass, which unfortunately dragged Kankurou and his friends in the fight as well.
“Was I just supposed to let them talk about you that way?”
He didn’t remember how it ended seeing as how he was knocked out by a jackass who hit him over the head with a chair while he was busy with two of the other idiots.
“Yes.”
“Yes?” He asked in astonished disbelief.
“Yes.” She smiled, “As much as I love that you’re quite a decent man, many men are idiots. You just gotta learn to suck up their insults and let it go. Of course, if they try something then you kick their ass so they won’t be able to walk for five months.” She tucked her knees under herself. “Speaking of which, I hear he’s so badly fucked that he won’t be able to walk for seven months.”
“Good.”
“I never pegged you for the violent type, Shikamaru.”
“I never pegged you for the passive type, Temari.”
She shrugged. “You learn to deal with it as time goes by.”
“You shouldn’t have to.”
“The world sucks. There are lots of things that shouldn’t happen.”
She leant into him and he wrapped his arms around her. “They should’ve known better than to badmouth you in front of your fiancé.”
“What can I say? Men in Suna are pretty dim. That’s why I had to get myself one in Konoha.”
He smiled.
“You know, on the upside, you’re injuries weren’t for nothing. Kankurou has now decided that he approves of our union. Apparently beating up a jerk is enough for him to respect you.”
A/N: This might seem like a lemon in the beginning, but trust me, it’s not.
Temari pressed her lips hungrily against every bit of bare skin she could find. Her fingers clawed at the dark mesh shirt he was currently sporting, and she couldn’t think a second past what was going on right then and there. She pressed more firmly against him — needing more, wanting more. Shikamaru’s hands deftly tugged at her hair so that the golden strands fell free of her casual style spilling all across her face.
Temari groaned against his neck.
She kissed her way up to his lips and pressed down firmly, losing every trace of her surroundings within his mouth. Fighting for dominance, and submitting to his every now and then.
Her fingernails curled into his shirt and just as quick as this makeout session began, Temari’s desires incensed. Hastily, she tried pushing the shirt off of him. She was so disoriented that for the first few seconds she tried taking his shirt off by pulling it down. After a few moments of complete confusion, her mind started working minimally, and she relieved him of his shirt. She began to move down lower to discard him of his pants when she felt her body lock up and freeze.
It didn’t take her long to figure out why she was incapable of movement. Just as quickly as his shadow had incapacitated her, she regained control of her body. She stared down at the man beneath her. “What was that?” She demanded, more confused than anything else.
“Look, Temari,” His cheeks were flushed and eyes hazy with desire, “I love you, I do, but…”
“But what?” She frowned, “If this is about protection–”
“No, that’s not it.”
“Then?” Temari prodded, trying to put her desires under control.
“I…” Shikamaru bit his lower lip and looked nervously up at her, “This is going to sound absolutely stupid, but…”
“But?”
“I want to wait.”
“Wait?”
“Yeah.”
She sat up, still sitting calmly on his chest, “Wait for what?”
He closed his eyes. “Troublesome.”
“Shikamaru!” Temari uttered in aggravation. “Answer me!” Hell, if he was going to turn her down, then it damn well better be for a good reason.
“I don’t…I don’t…” He sighed and opened his dark eyes. He looked up at her, his eyes firm with resolution. “I don’t want to have sex until I’m married.”
She blinked dumbly. “Until you’re married?”
“Yes.”
“You?”
“Yes.”
She rubbed her eyes slowly and pinched herself. After a few minutes of contemplation, Temari decided she was very much awake. Hesitantly, she spoke, “Really?”
“Yes.”
“B-But you’re a guy!” She exclaimed as if that explained everything.
“I’m aware.”
“Guys are usually the ones pressing for it!”
“It seems that that’s usually the case.” He replied calmly. “But it’s not with me.”
“Unbelievable.” She breathed. “Unbelievable.”
“What is?”
Temari shifted slightly, “That I seem to have found the only decent man left in this stupid world.” She paused. “You know, I’ve never had sex either.”
“And you wanted to give your virginity to me?” He asked a slight blush on his cheeks.
Temari felt the heat rush to her face. “I love you.” She mumbled.
Shikamaru wound his hand behind her head and led her gently forward. He kissed her slowly on the lips. “I love you too.”
She sighed as he pulled back. “You’re still not going to do this until we get married, aren’t you?”
“Precisely.”
She hesitated. “I’m not ready to get married just yet.”
“I’m okay with that.” He said calmly.
“You are?”
He smiled. “I’m pretty patient, Temari.”
She grinned. “You are unbelievable.”
A/N: I was talking to my mom about her relationship with my dad today. This story is a piece of their story. My mom didn’t really care about waiting, or even getting married for that matter. My dad didn’t want to do anything until he got married. My dad was the one who told her either marry me or nothing. I found that really funny when she told me.50 Shinobi — Prompt #22 (Cathedral)
“I won’t go in! You can’t make me!” She protested vehemently, shaking her head to and fro furiously.
Neji stared at her in aggravation. ‘Tenten, it’s just-”
“It’s evil, that’s what it is!” She complained loudly. “EVIL!”
Neji’s eye twitched. “It’s a cathedral. The last thing it could be is evil.”
Tenten narrowed her eyes at the pale Hyuuga. “Just because it’s a cathedral doesn’t mean it has to be good.” She shuddered. “Just look at it! All big, and gothic-like, windows high, and lights low.” She stared at the building before her. “It’s the epitome of evil, my friend.”
“It’s a cathedral.”
“I WON’T GO IN!”
Neji seemed to want to kill her. He seemed to want to wrap his hands around her neck and throttle the life out of her.
She crossed her arms and stared resolutely at the floor. She would not budge. She would not, she would not, she would not! It was filled with evil. She really couldn’t say why she thought so, but she just didn’t like it. Something about the building was unnatural and-and just plain wrong. Maybe it was haunted. Or maybe worse… She dug her feet into the ground. “Let’s go home.”
Neji stared at her quietly for a bit, before giving a resigned sigh. “Tenten, please.”
Tenten hesitated. Never once, in all her life, had Neji ever said ‘please’ to her. Not once. She looked back at the looming and frightening building. She sighed. “Why do you need to go into hell-I mean, the cathedral, again?”
Neji shifted awkwardly. “My mother’s grave…”
Tenten scowled. “Okay, okay. Let’s go in.” She bit her lip. “But…don’t laugh at this okay?” She waited until he nodded before she asked her question. “Can you hold my hand as we go in?”
Neji nodded and Tenten could’ve sworn he looked glad she’d requested that.
She swallowed her fear and took her hand in his gripping it tightly. “The things I do for you people.” She whispered silently.
“I’m grateful for it.” He said silently, almost so softly that the wind attempted to swallow his words.
Luckily, the wind didn’t succeed.
She smiled. Fear was a powerful thing, but friendship topped it by far.
Tenten gracefully bounded over to the bed and settled upon it cross-legged. She nudged Shikamaru with her foot and gave him even glare.
Shikamaru stretched up. “Alright, I’m leaving.”
Temari wanted to pull him back down on the bed and order him to stay. She ignored the voices in her head that told her to do so. Really, if she started listening all the time to the voices in her head she’d be in big trouble – she’d be even crazier than they all believed her to be.
“Kankurou,” Tenten chimed cheerfully, “get lost.”
Kankurou rolled his eyes. “Mood swings.” He grumbled under his breath exiting the room.
Gaara watched Tenten in mild amusement. “I assume you want me to leave as well?”
“Yes, please.”
Gaara followed after his brother. Shikamaru bent down to remove the headphones from around her neck. She drew her hand up to her neck where they had been. With a wry smile Shikamaru placed the headphones over his own ears. “I’ll be downstairs.” He smiled then exited too.
Hinata turned, about to leave, when Tenten interrupted her. “Ep! Hina, I’d like you here.”
“Wh-Why?”
“Duh. Girl talk.”
Temari stared at the brunette. “Are you even capable of girl talk, Tenten?”
“I’m capable of all kinds of talking.” She defended happily.
Hinata timidly sat on the edge of the bed. Her lavender eyes scoured the entire room. Her nose wrinkled just the tiniest bit.
“Aha! You think it’s messy too!” Temari proclaimed as if in triumph.
Hinata blushed. “Well, just…a little.”
Tenten scoffed. “A little? Damn, girl, it’s a lot messy.” Tenten clicked her tongue. “I can’t believe you’re going to marry this disorganized boy.”
Temari’s eyes snapped to attention immediately. “Marry? Marry?”
Hinata ducked her head down.
Tenten snickered.
“Hold on, he asked you to marry him?” How long was she out of it? She remembered that Hinata and her littlest brother were involved in some way, but she didn’t think they were anywhere near ready to get married. Married?
Tenten’s eyes bugged out of her head and she fell to the floor in a fit of uproariously laughter. Temari wryly thought how unfair it was that even when the brunette fell she managed to avoid any clumpy painful bits that covered Gaara’s floor in its entirety.
Hinata lifted her head, an indescribable expression in her eyes. “Would it be so bad if I did marry Gaara?”
Tenten’s snickers subsided minimally. Her light brown eyes analyzed Temari with complete scrutiny.
Temari floundered. “You’re a bit y-young to be getting ma-married.”
“So if we were older,” Hinata asked calmly, “you wouldn’t care?”
“Of course I’d care.” Temari oddly felt like she was being tested for something. She couldn’t quite figure out what she was being tested for just quite yet. Obviously something important, but that’s as far as she could get. “I mean, he’s my youngest brother and you’re my friend; I’d care if you two decided to get married.”
“I meant, would it bother you?” Hinata’s voice was so low Temari marveled that she could hear it. Most surprisingly, she marveled at how clear it sounded to her. Hinata did indeed have the loveliest voice.
“Why would it bother me? If you both wanted to get married, I don’t think I’d mind.” She paused. “You love him right?”
Hinata nodded.
“I wouldn’t mind in the least then.”
A small smile spread across the pale beauty’s face. She really looked incredibly lovely when she was truly happy.
“You know, Bluey,” Temari began thoughtfully; “you should smile more often. Like, for real, you know? You like nice when you do.”
She really didn’t think she’d mind if they got married. In fact, she’d be happy. Gaara was the happiest she’d seen him in the longest time; she couldn’t ever recall the redhead being as contented as he was when he was with Hinata. It was a quiet peaceful sort of love.
Very nice.
Temari had the suspicion that Shikamaru would laugh at her if she told him that. She also had the suspicion that she wouldn’t mind him laughing at her one bit. Their’s wasn’t a quiet love, there’s was a troublesome kind.
She rather liked it that way.
Temari had screamed herself hoarse when she discovered she was pregnant.
After her capacity for yelling appropriately had diminished, she told Shikamaru. The lazy bum seemed shocked to hear the news, but instead of being filled with the same rage and fury as her, he was filled with joy. The sparkle of happiness in his eyes soured her further. He should not be happy. By all rights, he should be ruing the thought, since her being pregnant with his child could only bring problems for both of them.
They weren’t even married.
She thought about yelling and smacking him about, but found she just didn’t have the energy. Instead she just sunk to the couch in his home with a sullen expression and aching limbs. She hated the baby. She hated the baby with every fiber of her being. Shikamaru seated himself beside her, a question in his eyes. He didn’t ask it though.
Temari was glad he didn’t. He probably wouldn’t have liked the answer.
xXxXx
Shikamaru knew that a kid would ruin a lot of things. He knew that a kid would possibly mess up a scheme of his plans, and probably a lot more of Temari’s plans. He fathomed she wasn’t so keen on the idea of lumbering about in such a weak, bloated, and virtually useless (as far as shinobi were concerned anyway) state for months. He wasn’t so keen on dealing with a Temari in that state. He wasn’t so keen on waking up in the middle of the night to a child’s cries. He wasn’t so keen on a lot of the hardship. Mostly he wasn’t to enamored with the very real possibility of leaving Konoha and becoming a Suna shinobi just so he could be a part of the kid’s (and Temari’s) life .
But, despite all of that, he found the idea of a kid, a kid with Temari nonetheless, was better than any complication life had in store for him.
xXxXx
Of all the irksome things that pregnancy brought, the most annoying of them was her huge round beach ball of a belly. She couldn’t walk around with it. Getting out of bed became a laborious project. She usually lay there for five minutes before she mustered the desire to exert all the damn energy necessary to pull herself out of the mattress. Some days she even flirted with the idea of not getting out of bed at all. Shikamaru, the jerk, did nothing to discourage the idea. In fact, he kept encouraging her to stay in bed; he never dropped his nonsense about her needing rest.
What did she need a rest from anyway?! She shouldn’t even be tired, dammit. All she did was get up, eat, walk around, read a book, play shogi, talk, and then go back to sleep.
Ridiculousness.
Temari hated the ball. It knocked into things, made every movement she made slower, and because of it’s gigantic proportions, it’d been a while since she’d seen her own feet.
Yes, Temari hated her belly.
She would sit exhausted on the couch, annoyed that just walking to the kitchen and making herslef breakfast took so much energy out of her. Shikamaru always offered to make her breakfast (in fact, he offered to make her all meals), but she always refused, irked that she couldn’t even pull off such a simple action without getting excessively tired. Shikamaru would always sit beside her, contemplating something or another, he usually shared if she wasn’t in too foul of a mood.
Then she would feel a jolt inside of her. A punch or a kick — some sort of jab in her tummy. No matter how often it occurred every time she felt the hit, she jumped up in shock. She would draw her hands to her belly and feel the fight inside of her. The baby would be a strong one, she would think. Also, due to the child’s incessant kicks, it was apparent it did not take after the usual Nara apathy. It was this that made her believe the creature inside of her was a girl. After all, male Naras were conceited lethargic geniuses. Upon discovering she was pregnant with Shikamaru’s child, she traced his family lineage back as far as possible to find what traits her child might inherit; this journey only served to inform her that the males in his clan were all lazy chauvinists too smart for their own good, and the females never inherited the kekkai genkai. This information did nothing new to her outlook. She still couldn’t stomach the idea of accepting the creature let alone trying to decide if she wanted a girl or a boy.
She grew more certain each day that passed that it was a girl.
She still never decided if she considered that a good thing or bad thing.
Whenever she felt the kicks in her enormous belly, she would motion the movement within her to Shikamaru. The lazy man would press his hand (or his ear) gently on her belly. The warmth of his body always tickled her and stirred her to the bone, and even years later when she was an old woman, she’d remember with striking clarity how the kicks grew more pronounced when he touched her. It was as if the creature inside her noted his presence and demanded to get out.
A charming and honest smile always graced his face when he felt the creature within her stir.
Temari never told him that the child tended to react more strongly when he touched her. She was sure he would’ve like to know. In fact, she was sure that knowledge would make him feel happier, but in those days Temari was selfish, and the child only served as a hated object impeding her from everyday activities. She was suffering, and if she could withhold a precious bit of information from Shikamaru, then she felt her suffering was at least somewhat paralleled by the other causative factor of her pathetic state.
Regardless of all her bitter thoughts, Temari couldn’t explain the warmth those moments brought. She couldn’t explain how she could hate her belly and the child within it with every fiber of her being, but love it at the same time. Sometimes, she thought, maybe it was a good thing she got pregnant.
Only sometimes.
xXxXx
Temari debated over the idea of giving her child up for adoption.
She thought over it long and hard, and had yet to come up with a reasonable decision. She didn’t want the baby. She knew she didn’t want to raise a child. She wasn’t fit to, and she wasn’t wanting to learn how to become fit to either. Babies were for soft tender civilians — not for women like her.
xXxXx
“I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! OH, GOD, NARA! ONCE THIS IS OVER I WILL SKIN YOU ALIVE! I’LL SHOVE A FUCKING WATERMELON DOWN YOUR THROAT AND PULL IT OUT OF YOUR END! SEE IF YOU LIKE THIS CR—OH DAMN!” Temari screamed loudly.
Beside her, Shikamaru winced periodically as her grip on his hand tightened with each wave of pain. He didn’t complain, and he didn’t try to pull away; he didn’t voice his pain, and he didn’t say anything about calming down to her.
Unlike the idiotic nurse.
Temari savored ideas of snapping the skinny twits neck once this was over. How could she calm down? She was pushing the largest friggin’ head out of a pathetically small hole. This type of action shouldn’t even be possible!
Shikamaru just knelt by her bedside, allowing her to crush his hand to what she later discovered was so incredibly forceful she dislocated two fingers and broke his thumb. The lazy man, in contrast to the nurse’s pleas, told her to scream and swear to her hearts content every time th damn nurse tried to get her to calm down. She bit his head off quite a lot during her rants. She insulted him, and she was also certain spilled quite a few hurtful and embarrassing comments (that she later admitted to being mostly false) to him at a such a loud tremor that the people waiting outside (including her brothers, his teammates, and most of the 12 young Konoha shinobi whom she’d gone against in her first shot at the Chuunin exam) could hear every single word and related every word to any other shinobi that knew either or both of them. Shikamaru never called her out on it, and never told her to shut up.
If Temari weren’t in so much pain, she would’ve appreciated what Shikamaru was doing, but as it was, she felt like she was dying and was in no mood to so such a thing.
In that instant as she lay giving birth she gained a newfound respect toward all mothers. Mothers were the strongest and craziest creatures on earth. Especially those who had more than one child. Giving birth hurt more than any injury she’d ever sustained on the field — and she’d sustained quite a few. She’d almost died once and this still hurt more than that did.
That child had better damn well be special for all this pain it was causing her.
xXxXx
“TWINS!” Temari screamed frantically through her pain; although,between her yells, the child’s cries, the nurse’s frantic commands, the doctor’s snap that everyone should shut up, and Shikamaru’s exclamations of confusion to the doctor, it was hard to distinguish what anyone was really saying. Later, people weren’t even aware she had said anything at all when the doctor declared there was still another child. Everyone remembered her as having taken the news rather quietly and determinedly.
In reality, she had probably been the loudest one.
She had thought she had finished laboring when she heard the cries of the child. She had thought the torture was over, but nooo, the doctor went off and proclaimed she had another fucking baby in her uterus.
No wonder her belly had been gigantic.
xXxXx
After she had calmed down enough (with some help from medication supplied by the doctor) Shikamaru had placed one of the children in her arms. A soft bellied boy with russet skin and Shikamaru’s dark eyes. Temari gasped audibly as the chubby boy turned in her arms. His slanted eyes stared up at her lazily and the boy seemed to yawn. Tufts of blond hair were visible at the top of his head. Temari was unsure as to what to do with the creature in her arms. It was just a baby, and it was so tiny. What did one do with them?
Gently, Shikamaru shifted the bundled package in his hands (she assumed it was the other child) to one arm and with his free hand he pushed her arms gently so her arms swayed rocking the staring boy to and fro tenderly.
Temari continued the rocking after Shikamaru’s hands had retreated back to the other child.
The little boy smiled widely and turned to his side cradling into the nook of her arms.
It wasn’t so hard she thought.
Just move him here and there.
She found her lips tug up into a happy grin. He was lovely.
xXxXx
The girl was more like Temari. She had been born first and come out crying like a banshee. The boy had come out without a noise; so quietly in fact, that they had all feared the boy was dead. But he had merely just come out asleep.
The twins, seemed to have inherited their mother’s desire for individuality. On top of seeming to have two strikingly different personalities, they had very different appearances. The doctor said they were fraternal twins. Temari didn’t really care what they were, so long as they didn’t suddenly break. Having held them in her hands once, she was afraid the little things would break at once, and she didn’t want them to break.
She wanted them to be whole living happily.
The girl had dark brown hair, fair skin, and dark green eyes that reminded Temari fairly of her own. Upon holding the girl in her hands Temari knew instantly she had been the one kicking and punching. The girl squirmed in her hands and bit and kicked angrily. But when placed next to her quiet brother, she seemed to calm considerably. Just like when the boy was placed next to the girl he seemed to perk up instantly.
They were lovely little things.
The more time she spent looking at him, the less she could imagine giving them away. They were her and they were Shikamaru and the thought of putting that up for adoption felt as if she were rejecting a peice of herself. She and Shikamaru had made them.
Besides, it’s not like she could trust a stranger to understand the odd children and care for them.
Maybe she wouldn’t do such a good job either, but those kids were hers, and if it killed her she would learn.
It couldn’t be harder than being a kunoichi, right?
xXxXx
Shikamaru was baffled when he first held the boy. Unlike the girl, who seemed to automatically shut up when the noisy bundle was placed in his hands, the mystifyingly quiet boy turned his dark beady eyes upon him and let out the loudest scream Shikamaru had ever head. He was even confident the yell surpassed Temari’s loudest one. The boy would also start crying and kicking furiously.
Shikamaru was so startled by the reaction he nearly dropped the boy. He rocked him, talked to him, coddled him, and hushed him; Shikamaru did everything he could to calm the boy down, but like his mother, the child refused to be pacified. When Shikamaru’s confusion grew to a state so profound he didn’t know what to do with the child, he passed the boy into his mother’s hands (since Temari was still seemingly yelling her head off and being tested for possible complications). As soon as the boy left his arms, it ceased making any noise whatsoever.
This frustrated Shikamaru so much that he took the boy right back out of his mothers hands, despite Yoshino’s fervent protests, as if such an action would erase the child’s previous inquietude. Just like before, as soon as his hands held the russet skinned boy, he began making an obscenely loud ruckus.
Yoshino took the boy back a frustrated frown on her lips and muttered that he simply did not know how to care for a child. She further prattled that she felt sorry for the children, as they were doomed to have two parents who knew not how to take care of a child. Yoshino even made vague assurances that she would spening a lot of time at his home caring for the twins.
Shikamaru was far too disturbed with the boy’s reaction to protest or defend himself.
Although, it didn’t escape his notion to defend Temari.
Somehow he never failed to do that particular thing.
xXxXx
Despite Temari’s silence about the entire affair, Shikamaru was more than aware that Temari had been contemplating giving the children up for adoption. He was also aware, though everyone he knew would insist he did not know, that Temari had almost had an abortion.
He was aware that the blond desert kunoichi had stood outside a clinic, palms sweaty and heart racing. He was aware she had made an appointment. He was aware she had even stepped inside the building.
He was also aware that she had ran out shortly after entering stopping at the Kazekage building furiously demanding to see the Kazekage.
Temari had been crying and screaming and ranting nonsensical statements when she did so; the poor receptionist was always frightened of Temari, and Temari in that particular state had driven the receptionist so mad with terror, that she was perfectly willing to interrupt the Kazekage’s important meeting with the Kage of the lightning village to declare that his elder sister was having a psychotic episode.
It was then that a select few of people managed to see the Kazekage explode. It wasn’t for the matter that his sister had ‘besmirched’ the family name by dallying about and becoming impregnated by a man without being married like most people suspected; it wasn’t because he was enraged at the thought of a man using his sister so without any commitment or at the very least decent protection on his part like Kankurou was; it wasn’t because Temari had nearly ended a child’s life like some avid protectors of human life would proclaim; and it most definitely wasn’t because Temari had interrupted an important meeting like the council was. In fact, Gaara of the desert lost his temper because and only because when he questioned his sister about the entire event and the implications it was sure to bring, Temari asserted that she did not want Shikamaru to know anything about the child.
To this day, Temari is still at odds as to why Gaara reacted so strongly to what was possibly the only demand she had her heart set firmly upon.
Only Shikamaru and possibly Kankurou know why Gaara lost his temper so horribly that day, and neither of them will ever repeat it to another human being.
xXxXx
Temari would watch Shikamaru as surreptitiously as she could during the first days of the twins’ lives. She
would trace his movements and strain to hear his every word, curious as to how attached and serious he was about the children. The first thing she noticed was Shikamaru’s obvious aggravation with the boy. The second thing she noticed, is he didn’t give up like she (and everyone else) expected him to do. In fact, he would hold the boy as often as possible, talk to the boy frequently, and Ino swore she saw the lazy man reading a book on caring for a young boy whenever he wasn’t in the hospital. It’s not like he neglected the girl either. He placed tender care and affection upon both the children. It was evident in his every movement and tender word that he really loved the young children.
Temari’s heart twisted painfully when she saw him holding the children.
She would turn her head and stare at her hands, upset and confused at his actions. Temari had decided determinedly to keep the children, but she also intended to go back to Suna. Living in Konoha was not for her. Even if she stayed here her children would have a decent father, she simply could not stay in Konoha.
Deep down she was afraid of telling him, because she thought it might hurt her more than she was ready for.
xXxXx
If anyone asked her if she loved Shikamaru she would lie. She would shake her head furiously and exlaim in the most indignant tone that she could not love that man. How could she?
If anyone asked Shikamaru if he loved her he would smile. If you were pushy enough as most Konoha shinobi were, he would eventually open his mouth and tell you that he did. How could he not?
If anyone asked any of their friends or family how they thought the entire debacle would end, mostly all of them would respond in the same way. Some would scoff, some would spittle, some would giggle, some would chortle, some would roll their eyes, but most of them would say those two could only end up together. Who knew how or when, but they would.
xXxXx
When she was healthy enough to leave the hospital, she took her children and informed Shikamaru she would be leaving.
He shrugged and said he’d figured she would.
Temari couldn’t really explain how disappointed she felt at the deliverance of such news. Somehow she’d hoped he would’ve fuaght hard for the twins (if not for her like she hoped) but apparently that wasn’t the case. Maybe he really didn’t care for them so much.
xXxXx
Temari was shocked to find Shikamaru in Suna three days later.
He’d forgotten to mention to her that he would be following her back to Suna.
“Leave.” She demanded, though she was grateful he’d shown up.
“No.” He leveled his eyes at her. “You damn well better get used to me, Temari, because I’m not leaving.”
“Oh,” she seethed, “and why not?”
“Because I’m not letting the three people I really love not be in my life.”
Temari hesitated. She stared resolutely at the ground before grumbling that he could stay. Shikamaru smiled softly at her and wrapped his large arms around her. His warmth was so comforting and safe.
Temari hadn’t felt safe in ages.
It was good, her children would be safe, with him, with her.
Parenthood wouldn’t be so bad, she mused, especially if it was with him.
xXxXx
“Breathe.” Shikamaru whispered into her ear as he held her tighter. Her body shook in his arms. Never before had he thought of her as fragile until now.
Swallowing breaths and shaking fingers. Temari clutched at his clothing her fingers digging into the
cloth. With her eyes squeezed shut and heart in her throat she couldn’t think. All she knew was that she was tired.
She was dead tired.
“Breathe.” He repeated again. “Just breathe.”
Temari fingers clutched him tighter. She wasn’t even sure if she remembered how to breathe.
xXxXx
It was all blood.
Blood stained her hands.
Blood stained her soul.
What was she supposed to do with all the blood?
Without a word, Lee took her hands in his and looked her in the eyes. “Tenten, it will be fine.”
Fine.
Fine.
How can…How can anything be fine?
“Tenten.” Lee’s eyes search her. “Say something.”
Behind him Neji watches her in apprehension too. He’s worried. Tenten looks at her hands. Is she in such a state that even Neji can look worried? Is she so…
What’s with all the blood?!
Arms wrap around her.
Words are murmured to her.
Someone squeezes her hand.
It will be fine.
Can it? Can it be fine?
xXxXx
Kankurou stares at her.
How could she understand? How could a stupid girl like her ever understand? “Go away.” He tells her. Like he’s told her countless times before.
This time, instead of heading his command she kneels before him. Her pale fingers wrap around his hands, her head bowed, dark brown bangs covering her brown eyes. “I’m here. You matter. I’m here.”
“You don’t know anything.”
She squeezes his hands. “Then tell me.”
Her eyes connect with his.
Tell me.
Blood and sacrifice is matted around his heart. Around his soul. He doesn’t know what’s right anymore. He doesn’t know…He doesn’t know anything but duty anymore.
“Tell me.” She whispers. “Help me understand.”
He knows she isn’t a saint. But he doesn’t want her to carry his troubles on top of her own. “Go away.” He whispers again.
Shinobi are such fragile things. They break so easily.
She nods. “But you know, regardless of how many times you tell me to go away,” She smiles lightly, “I’ll always be here.”
xXxXx
She cranes her head at him. “I think, it’s not so bad.”
He’s aware that he’s shaking. “You think.”
“I think.” She confirms.
The world turns on it’s axis and runs and walks and talks as if he is of no consequence. As if…What does it all matter?
Temari gave her boyfriend a suspicious look as she took the bag from his hands. Shikamaru just gave her a tiny self-satisfied smirk.
Inwardly Temari braced herself; there was a very good change, judging from the cocky gleam in his eye, that she would not like what was inside the bag one bit. She opened the shopping bag with trepidation.
Not a reply from Shikamaru.
Ugh. It really boded ill if he didn’t even tease her for her 
apprehension in opening a stupid shopping bag. She looked inside.
There settled at the bottom was something very, very light blue, and very, very lacy. ”Nara, what is this?”
The smirk in his lips grew more evident. “Lingerie.”
The bag fell from her hands. “You’re joking right?”
“No joke.” He replied in all seriousness.
Warily, she picked the bag up again, and removed the contents. It was strappy, and lacy, and frilly, and oh-so girly. She suspected it to be something Ino might swoon over. Of course, if it weren’t in blue. Ino despised blue.
Temari felt her cheeks inflame as she looked over the article. There was no way in hell she would put this stupidity on. For goodness sakes’ she’d look ridiculous! She held the garment away from herself and in Shikamaru’s direction. She shook her head vehemently, hoping that her blush wasn’t as obviously red as she suspected it to be. “Hell, no.”
He tipped his head to the side, and looked at her from the corner of his eye. Temari swallowed in nervousness. Shikamaru’s eyes were gleaming like they did when he knew he was about to win a battle. “You owe me.” He said clearly.
Temari’s blush darkened. “I–That’s–I didn’t think you’d try to settle it with something like this!”
“Backing out are we?”
“I…You-ugh! Pick anything else!”‘
“So anything else is fair game?” ”As long as it doesn’t involve silly underwear.”
Shikamaru’s lips quirked up into a smile. He opened his mouth to speak.
“AH! Wait!” Temari spat out before the talked. She was dealing with a genius; he’d probably pick something even worse than this. Brilliant! Why did she have to fall in love with a genius? The problem with his high intellect being, any restriction she could give him, his superior mind would probably find a way around. “Oh, damn.” She growled.
Shikamaru chuckled. “So? Which one? Will you do this, or do I pick another?”
“Why can’t you just be a greedy jerk and ask for money?” She grumbled.
“You wouldn’t be dating me if I were.” He pointed out.
Temari looked hopelessly at the lacy, flimsy, lame-excuse-for-clothing. This was absolutely ridiculous. “Can’t I at least have it in black, or-or purple?” She whined.
He shook his head smiling. “Nope. Now stop being troublesome and put it on.”
She took the clothing into the bathroom, scowling the entire way. “Remind me never to ask you for a favor and promise to pay you back.” She could hear the mirth in Shikamaru’s reply. “I’ll probably forget.”
She scoffed. “How convenient.”
Crying, Temari had always reasoned, was a stupid thing to do.What was the point in letting hot wet drops fall from her eyes? It didn’t solve anything, and it certainly wouldn’t make her feel better – in any sense of the word.
Yet, here she was, crouched on the grassy floor, tears falling from her eyes, and body shaking uncontrollably. Dry, horrible heaving sounds wracked from her body. They seemed to come from somewhere nestled far too deeply for them to be real. Part of her desperately wished she was dreaming. Crying did not suit a person of her caliber.
It didn’t!
She stiffened as a familiar presence settled beside her.
“Go away.” She snapped angrily.
She couldn’t stop the tears flowing, so turned her head to the side so he would be unable to see her cry. He must be astonished to see she had the capabilities to cry. To him, she must just be cold stone.
What a way to ruin her reputation.
“It’s okay to cry, Temari.” He said softly. “There’s no shame in it.”
Temari spat a slew of curse words at him. Practicality and sensibility were not things she welcomed right now. She was feeling bad, and feeling bad and reasonable words didn’t go together.
She considered getting up and walking away, but she figured more people would see her tear-streaked face that way. People who would actually tell other people and never allow her to live down this moment of weakness. He at least, would keep it to himself if she asked, and the most annoying thing he could do or say was already said.
He didn’t press the issue, instead choosing to lie on the grass beside her and stare up through the leaves of the tree she was leaning against at the sky.
She tried her best to ignore him.
In a few minutes, she had even forgotten he was there.
Temari sat there for awhile, curled up into a ball, her arms hugging her knees to her chest tightly, and head resting on her knees. When the tears refused to fall anymore, her entire body was so numb she couldn’t move. Temari attempted to stand but fell straight back down. She was expecting a hard heavy fall, but instead soft warmth surrounded her body.
“Troublesome woman.”
Temari tried to struggle, but her limbs were too numb for her to have any lasting effect. “Let me go.”
“You’ll fall.” He stated simply. “At least wait until you can move correctly will you?”
Temari scowled, but did as he said.
Shikamaru held her awkwardly, but without much embarrassment.
This embarrassed Temari horribly, as she found it odd for him to be holding her. She stared resolutely at the floor.
When feeling came back into her limbs she left the clearing and headed to her hotel without a single word to the lazy shinobi.
She never did explain to him why she was crying, and he never did ask.
There was just a connection between them that said everything that needed to be said.
Crying, Temari always thought, was a stupid thing to do.
Especially when there wasn’t much reason for it in the first place.
Oddly enough, Shikamaru disagrees.
