I Am

I have lots of different alternatives to this one story. Two of which are poems and two are short oneshots. I suppose that what I get for listening to La Oreja de Van Gogh. Very nice band-people. Darn Mely for influencing me, now I really like those people. Ah well.
Summary: Because Temari is more than just Nara Shikamaru’s girlfriend.
Side note: I HATE shika-ino pairing, it just worked for this story-thing
Genre: romance, angst,
People: Temari, Shikamaru, Ino 

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Cared to See (Story Vers.1)

Temari’s hands brushed against the solitary photograph she placed on top of a small book on her desk.

It was her and Shikamaru.Probably the only picture she had of him. They were lying on the grass, Temari’s head on his chest. They were smiling.

Without a second thought she ripped the picture down the middle and dropped it in the trash.

They were.

She hated him for a long time when they broke up.

HATED him.

He dumped her for that blonde, Yamanaka.

Because he said, “I love her.”

Her.

Of course, it couldn’t be Temari right?

She hated him for that. What did Yamanaka have that she didn’t? Temari was better than that girl in EVERY way…except, well Yamanaka’s hair was much softer and nicer looking.

Temari held no bitter feelings toward Yamanaka.

Not then and not now, just…bewilderment as to why Shikmaru chose her.All the shinobi in Konoha stared at her oddly after that.

Why?

They didn’t know who she was.

She had always just been Shikamaru’s girl to them.

And who was she now?

Everything they didn’t see.

Everything only her brothers saw.

Everything she had hoped Shikamaru had seen.

He hadn’t.

She was more than just someone’s silly female ornament.

She was her own person.

She never shed one tear over Shikamaru.

Plenty of shout and screams and raw fury, but not one tear.

Cry?

Cry?

Over a boy who never saw who she really was?

Over a boy who held gold in his hands and traded it in for copper?

Why bother?

She would admit one thing: she believed he was gold too.

He just couldn’t see that. In himself or in her.

Temari slipped through the house down to the kitchen. Serving a quick breakfast to her brothers, not forgetting to slide in a small insult, she slipped out the door.

She wasn’t perfect by any means.

She was too angry.

Too proud.

Too rough.

Too blunt.

“Who am I, Shikamaru?” She had asked him awhile after the whole tirade.

“You’re…Temari.”

“But who am I?”

“You’re you.”

He had never really known who she was.

He’d never really bothered to realize she was someone.

She was much more than his girlfriend.

Temari had loved him.

She probably still loved him.

But what did that matter?

She had a life to live and he didn’t want to be in it. Sure, it hurt, but that didn’t put her life on hold. There was more to her than any romantic affiliation.

Too bad he never cared to see.

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Life to Live (Story Vers.2) 

“I…” he fidgeted “I…”?

Temari sighed and rolled her eyes. The blonde kunoichi was leaning comfortably against a random shop waiting for him to voice his decision, which by his reaction wasn’t very hard to guess.

Me or Ino. She had said to him. Me or Ino, I don’t play paltry games. Do you love me, or do you love her? Decide. “You pick Ino.” She answered for him, deciding to save him the grief.

“…Yeah.”

Figures.

He seemed to be waiting for something.

“What?” she quirked up an eyebrow. “Disappointing reaction for you? Want me to cry, attack you with my fan, show fury?”

Shikamaru glanced at the floor and muttered unintelligibly.

“I love you, Shikamaru, that’s a given, but I’m not going to cry or have a fit because you love Ino and not me.” She would miss his kisses. She would miss the smell of his skin on hers. She would miss the feel of his hand touching hers. “You made your choice. I’m not going to pout because it wasn’t me. It hurts like hell, but you aren’t my life. There’s more to me than you.” She smirked at him. “Love is nice, but a broken heart won’t bring my life to halt.” She had prepared herself for this possibility. In fact in her mind it was the most probable result. Apparently she’d been right. She pushed herself off the wall. She needed to get back to Suna. “Say hello to Ino for me.”

Shikamaru stared blankly after her.

“Oh and for the record,” she said looking back, “only fools give up gold for copper. And I don’t care for fools.”

She loved him.And his decision hurt her terribly.

But if he was stupid enough to pick Ino over her, it was a good thing it was over.

He was a fool.

Temari, she – she was special.

Incredibly so.

She had a life to live and it was going to be spent crying over him. 

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Love Me (Poem #1) 

Love me.

A silent plea.

He doesn’t

Love me

He loves her.

Love me

How can she be better?

Love me

Who?

I ask, turning in my bed at night.

Who am I?

Who am I to you?

Love me

Without you

what can I be?

They all know me

hanging by your side.

They all think

that’s all there is to me

Love me

I’m the girl who would push you forward

Who am I now?

You’ve forsaken me for her

Ino

So pretty

So thin

So unlike me

Love me

Is she better?

Does she hug you like I would?

Do you murmur her name in your sleep?

Do you think of her

all the time?

Love me

Why not me?

I am better

I am MORE

I am everything you should hope to have

You would be lucky

Love me

To have me

Who am I?

Not yours

Definitely not yours

Why would I be anyway?

I am special

It’s too late

Love me

You could’ve had me

You could’ve had the best

You could’ve laid to restin my arms

Love me

I am everything

You will never have

And will always crave

I don’t need you to love me

You can’t see

How you traded

gold for copper

I don’t need you to love me

Waste your time,

not that it’s worth much,

on that girl.

I love me.

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Had (Poem #2) 

He had her

She would’ve given him everything

Would’ve loved him with all her heart

But he turned upon her love

And drank from another

Crying and yelling and screaming at the sky

No

He had her

He chose another

Let him

Let him lose the greatest thing

He could ever have

She was better than he was

If he could see that

He would know

Just what he was pushing aside

But all he sees is a given

He doesn’t see her

His err

She was everything

Let him choose what he would

She had life

She wasn’t gonna wait

For him to realize

She was everything

He’d always wished he had.

He had her.

And now, he’d lost her.

She wasn’t gonna waste her time.